From “Resolving Conflict” by Kelly McFadden (a HomeWord Daily Devotional)
“I appeal to you, brothers, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree with one another so that there may be no divisions among you and that you may be perfectly united in mind and thought.” – 1 Corinthians 1:10
There is no person who lives without some conflict in his or her life. Whether differences are happening in your marriage, with your kids, with a coworker, or with a friend, there is no permanent escape from conflict in this life. Yet God calls for Christians to live a life of harmony with each other. Does this mean we are going to get along with everyone we meet? No. However, it does mean that we are supposed to live a life that strives for reconciliation, a life that is like an orchestra with different harmony and instruments, but one song.
So how can you make sure that you are singing the same song as your Christian brothers and sisters? When you face conflict, the first thing you need to do is ask God for help. God is the giver of wisdom (James 1:5). Next, face your conflict. It only causes more pain to run away from it (Proverbs 24:26). When you talk with the person, the next step is to take accountability for your part in the conflict (Matthew 7:3) and to make sure you are treating that person with respect by not using blaming or insulting language (Ephesians 4:31). As you speak with the person you are confronting, one of the most important things you can do is to listen. Do everything you can to understand where the other person is coming from (Romans 15:1).
Relationships matter to God. He desires unity for us and wants us to resolve our problems, not walk away from relationships over conflict. Reconciliation is the act of bringing harmony back into a relationship. It may take time for some of the emotional wounds to heal and to trust again, but God calls us to work towards this. The ability to forgive and to love each other through our sinfulness is one of the most beautiful aspects of the Christian faith. And while not every conflict can be resolved with all people, you need to make sure you have done all you can to resolve the conflict.
Olive Branch Family,
Many of us have been in our homes for a number of days now and I’m sure there has been some conflict with each other, at least there has in my house. Take some time together and talk about how your family handles conflict.
- What are some things you do well?
- What are some things you can do better next time a conflict happens?
Here are some questions to think about the next time there is a conflict, it might just help to avoid it!
- What’s really going on?
- Did he/she really mean it like it sounded?
- Is there some information I’m missing here?
- Is my response showing grace?
- Am I looking at the situation from their viewpoint?
- When was the last time I responded the way I’m responding now?
- Is my tone filled with accusations or compassion?
- Am I avoiding the issue or trying to find a resolution?
- Am I fighting for a win or fighting for peace?
- If people I respected (outside of my family) were to hear my words, would I be embarrassed?
- Have I thought of ways to compromise?
- Am I giving the benefit of the doubt or jumping to conclusions?
- Is it really that big of a deal? (Pick your battles!)
- Will I care about, or remember this tomorrow?
If there is someone you have conflicts that haven’t been resolved, pray and ask God for wisdom to see your part and to give you the courage to heal that broken relationship.
“I have a serious concern to bring up with you, my friends, using the authority of Jesus, our Master. I’ll put it as urgently as I can: You must get along with each other. You must learn to be considerate of one another, cultivating a life in common. 10 I have a serious concern to bring up with you, my friends, using the authority of Jesus, our Master. I’ll put it as urgently as I can: You must get along with each other. You must learn to be considerate of one another, cultivating a life in common.” 1 Corinthians 1:10 (Message)
May your day be full of joy!
Gina Vildibill
Sr. Director of Family Ministries