Mother’s Day can be a tough holiday to get through if you’ve lost your child or mother. It’s one of those holidays that you can suddenly feel out of place with and don’t really know how to approach. The first Mother’s Day I spent without my Mom I planned to ignore like I had done with other major holidays and events. I quickly realized ignoring it would be a harder task then I thought. There were ads everywhere promoting the holiday and reminding me of what I no longer had. But it’s an odd thing to wrap your head around when, in your heart, your Mom will always be your Mom. The same is true for a child you’ve lost, no matter how long you were blessed to have them in your life. Just because they are no longer with us, it doesn’t mean we aren’t still sons, daughters, or mothers. Mother’s Day is still a day worthy of celebrating we just have to do it a little bit differently than before.
The first Mother’s Day without my Mom that I mentioned, God did something beautiful with it. I was serving on the Corona Life Services team and we were planning a donation drive to bless new mothers that couldn’t afford baby supplies. I was told multiple times I didn’t have to volunteer that weekend because everyone knew it was the first Mother’s Day without my Mom, and it would be hard. I’ll be honest, I was nervous. I didn’t know how I would feel once the day arrived, but I trusted God would meet me there. I won’t lie to you and say it was easy hearing people wish others a Happy Mother’s Day or to see families together at church. But as I stood outside collecting donation items, I realized I may not have been able to buy my Mom flowers or gifts that reminded her how much I love her, but I was able to show love to Mothers that I may never meet. I could celebrate this holiday in a way that honored who my Mom raised me to be and in turn kept her memory alive.
One of my best friends, who also lost his Mom, told me that the best thing we can do as we grieve is to find ways to honor those we’ve lost. So, I wanted to share some ideas of ways you can celebrate Mother’s Day this year in honor of the one you’ve lost:
1. Do something they loved
It’s not always easy remembering the one you love but when you spend some time doing something they loved doing, or you loved doing with them, it can bring up great memories that you want to hold onto forever. Cook their favorite food, try out their favorite hobby, listen to their favorite music, or watch their favorite movie. Doing the things they loved to do helps you keep their memory alive, and it’s great when you can share it with others who may not have known them or are missing them too.
2. Bless other Mothers
This is probably one of my favorite ways to celebrate Mother’s Day because let’s be honest, all moms deserve lots of love. You can do this through volunteering at church or organizations that support Mothers and children. You can surprise a Mom with flowers being sent to her home. Hand write out a card (because who hand writes anything anymore?) and mail it to her reminding her just how strong and beautiful she is. Text a prayer to the moms you know on Mother’s Day to encourage and lift them up. There are a multitude of ways you can celebrate the moms in your life and trust me, it feels good to serve others when you’re hurting.
3. Share Memories
Post a photo of you with your Mom or child, on social media and talk about the moments you shared together. Let people know how incredible they were and what you loved most about them. God can use their lives, memories, and stories to impact others in ways you will never imagine. You might even find that others who are hurting will be blessed by your act of love.
4. Spend time with God
This might seem like an obvious, every day type of thing but I’m constantly reminded by God on days like Mother’s Day, when the emotions start to get the best of me – or the enemy tries to tell me I’m alone, that no one understands, that I’ve been left out – that God is always there. “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted” (Matthew 5:4). It’s okay to spend time crying or feeling all the things you feel, but don’t do it alone. Pray and talk with God. He can handle anything you throw at Him when others struggle to be there. Even Jesus wept in John 11:35 because He knew death wasn’t part of God’s plan. Your friends and family do the best they can to comfort and support, but grieving is a complicated thing and sometimes people don’t know how to be there the way you need them, but God does. So, no matter what you are feeling, He will be there to comfort you, to listen, to understand, and remind you that you haven’t been left out or forgotten – That you are more than sad prayers for those you’ve lost and that He will turn your pain into something beautiful.
However, you chose to spend the day I hope you know that your mom or child is still very much a part of everything you do. They are worthy of remembering, honoring, and celebrating. You are not alone. And if you chose not to celebrate this year that’s okay too. Sometimes taking a day for yourself is best and totally okay. The one thing I hope you always remember is that your Mom or child would want you to be happy. That’s what we want for anyone we love. So, find that little bit of happiness in whatever way you can because that’s the best way to remember and celebrate the ones we love.